The importance of the domestic church

When we think of the sacred moments of faith, we probably think of worships at the cathedrals or church buildings. While this isn't wrong, I would say they happen quietly at home: around the dinner table, in bedtime prayers, or in a simple confession of wrongdoings between family members. This is the heart of what the Church calls the domestic church: the family as the first and most intimate community of faith.

From the very beginning, God chose the family as the foundation of His plan for salvation. Before there were parishes or programs, there was a mother and a father: Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, Mary and Joseph. Their common denominator was that they were called to nurture faith within their home. The story of salvation has always unfolded through families who learned to trust, to pray, and to pass on God's promises to their children.

Yet in our modern world, the home has often lost this sacred sense of purpose. Prayers are replaced with constant scrolling, communal dinners are replaced with individualism, and quiet times at home are now becoming endless programs and extracurricular activities. As an author on Substack calls it out, parents always educate their children. The question isn't about whether parents catechize their children, but more so about what kind of values they teach from a young age.

I wasn't exactly raised Christian by both my parents. My mom took me to Sunday school, and for that I'll always be grateful. But when faith formation that was meant to happen daily devolved into something weekly, it's no surprise the seed didn't take root. Faith became a routine rather than a relationship. I learned about God, but I didn't know Him. It wasn't until I was eighteen through honest, heartfelt discussions with some friends from my old church, that I truly met Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. That encounter changed everything.

Looking back, I can see what was missing: faith at home. Not just church attendance, but a living, breathing faith that shaped daily life: how we spoke to one another, how we prayed, how we loved. That’s what the Church calls the domestic church: the family as the first and most intimate place where faith is lived and passed on.

Is this only a problem for Christian families that don't take their faith seriously beyond church attendance? Not quite.

Perhaps our modern Christian communities have also fallen into the temptation of outsourcing faith formation to the local church community. We assume the local church will handle our children's faith formation. After all, there are Sunday schools, youth groups, retreats, and pastors who care deeply, all of which didn't exist in the early church. Meanwhile, we pour ourselves into ministry: volunteering, leading, serving, believing we're doing God’s work. And we are, in part. But sometimes, in the process, we neglect the very people God has most entrusted to us: our own family.

When fathers grow passive or mothers become overwhelmed, something essential is lost. No one else can fill that gap. No Sunday school teacher can replace a dad who prays with his kids. No youth pastor can substitute for a mother who opens the Bible with her children and helps them wrestle with faith.

While the efforts of the local church can serve as a temporary antidote to this brokenness, especially for those who have never felt part of the Church, we must remember that our work means nothing if we neglect the domestic church for the sake of the local church.

“For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church?” — 1 Timothy 3:5 (NRSV-CI)

For me, as I look towards my future vocation as a husband and, God willing, a father, I aspire to be the man God is calling me to be. A man who leads my family with prayer, love, hard work, and integrity. That means learning to sacrifice the little things that distract me from this calling, whether that's time wasted on video games, endless scrolling on social media, or anything that dulls my desire to serve. It's not easy, but I trust that God will give me the strength to grow in discipline and faithfulness.

Jesus, I trust in you.